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In episode 106 I talked about practices I use to help me manifest more ideal coaching clients and income.
In this episode, let’s talk about the other side of that – how coaches cast a spell of failure on themselves.
A couple of caveats first …
- I believe that I can change my mind. I can change my beliefs. I can change the way I respond to things. It may take time and it’s doable with awareness.
- I believe that success requires more than positive thinking. Positive thinking lightens the way. It helps me put the focus on what’s working and gratitude. Strategic action joins with positive thinking to help me attract what I want.
So with that in mind … imagine that money and success are simply a flow of energy. Visualize them as a river. A river wants to flow, right? And it will find the way of least resistance to keep flowing.
What can you do to encourage the flow of money and success towards you?
What are you thinking, saying or doing that discourages that flow?
I can tell you how I used to discourage the flow of positive results in my coaching business. It came down to spending more time in fear and worry than in believing in myself and taking strategic action.
- I saw other people’s successes as a threat to my own.
- I didn’t own my value shown by how I didn’t highly value my time. (I’m talking about fees here)
- I feared success and kept myself small in my actions.
- I paid more attention to my failures than my successes.
Scarcity thinking is normal for most human beings. Our culture teaches us to long for what we don’t have rather than receive and enjoy what we do. That builds a muscle for wanting instead of building a muscle for receiving and enjoying.
You can build a stronger muscle for receiving and gratitude. And by doing that you attract more of what you want that what you don’t want.
Back to the energy metaphor, fear and worry about what you DON’T WANT to happen is like putting an obstacle right in the middle of that positive energy flow so that it simply goes around you. Picture a beaver dam in a river.
Here’s another way to illustrate this. Have you ever spent time with someone who is continuously self-deprecating or negative? How does it make you feel? Even if you love the person it becomes less and less good for you to be around them. Eventually you will find excuses not to connect.
Continuously is the watchword here. Everyone deserves the opportunity for an occasional rant.
Everyone deserves to share real feelings with people they care about. Ideally, feeling those feelings and sharing them creates forward movement. It’s catharsis rather than habit.
In the past I cast a spell on myself by thinking negative thoughts over and over. Thoughts like:
- “Nothing is working.”
- “It takes a long time to be successful.”
- “No one wants my services.”
- “No one will pay my fees.”
- “I’m discouraged. I’m disappointed.”
That breeds disappointment which quickly becomes toxic.
Just saying these things out loud to you I feel the negative impact of them. So banish the thoughts! These are not my thought habits now.
The easiest way to replace thought patterns is to notice what you’re saying to yourself. Catch yourself in the thinking and reframe.
Ask people close to you to gently catch you in that thinking too. A gentle reminder to reframe is all you need to build the muscle for receiving and gratitude.
Prospects can feel your energy. They can feel what you’re putting out there. They may not consciously know what you’re saying to yourself but the scarcity is there as an energy and repels them.
Consider jotting down the ways you have been casting a negative spell on yourself. Writing those things down helps you put yourself on notice.
Also write down a reframe. Play with the reframe until there’s no hint of negative spell casting in it. You can do this!
In the Next Episode: 6 Services Every Coach Needs for An Easy Business