At the heart of it, life coaching originated from sports coaching. It’s about helping individuals and teams reach their full potential.
I think of a masterful coach like a positive mother or father — the loving, caring person who easily sees the potential of others and doesn’t judge mistakes.
Ted Lasso from the TV series comes to mind. That character was far from perfect, right? And, he had a gift for helping people grow into themselves.
Who do you need to become to be a winner in this field of coaching?
This year a client enrolled into my VIP program who came from college coaching. Since our first conversation, I see him embodying “the right stuff.” I admire how he always leaves a positive impression.
I asked him to be my guest on this episode and he humbly and enthusiastically said “Yes!”
Let’s talk about the right stuff and how you can develop more of it.
Hey Coaches!
I can’t wait for you to meet one of my brilliant VIP clients …
Cooper Neimand is a Well Being Specialist for college coaches and I have the privilege of working with him in my VIP Mentoring program to help him strategically develop his niche, website and other marketing, content and offers.
After 6 years in collegiate basketball coaching, Cooper left his dream job because he was burned out.
Throughout his time in the college ranks, he realized there was no support for coaches, which inspired him to start Coach Coop, helping college coaches gain control, prioritize themselves, and build championship habits and culture.
Cooper says he hired me to have a marketing expert on his team and to learn from someone who has already walked the path he wants to follow.
Rhonda Hess:
Welcome Cooper! so glad that you could be on this episode today with me.
Cooper Neimand:
Rhonda, thank you so much for having me. I listen every Tuesday and excited to hear myself one day, <laugh>.
Rhonda Hess:
Yeah. Uh, hopefully not too far into the future.
So, you know, Cooper, I know I’m putting you on the spot here, and I just want to say before we get into some questions that I have for you, that I’m not putting you on a pedestal. I know you’re a real human being with all the things that come with that.
And at the same time, I do truly admire you. You have impressed a lot of things upon me, and I thought it would really be great for you to talk to all the coaches out there about some things today from our conversations, as we’ve been building your offers, creating web copy …stuff like that.
One of the things that I’ve noticed is your big heart and how you are approaching this work that you want to do with college coaches.
What character traits or personal skills set coaches up for success?
Cooper Neimand:
Yeah. I think the first one is, is SELF AWARENESS — understanding how you operate and being aware of your thoughts, feelings, and actions, I really think it is the foundation to success in any aspect of life, business, personal growth, effective communication, healthy relationships.
You know, recognizing your strengths and weaknesses, recognizing that you have blind spots. Recognizing or being aware of your impact on others. Recognizing and understanding your emotions are just like your blueprint.
You know, as a basketball coach, my job was to put teams in the best position to win, and I had to know how guys were thinking. What were our energy levels? What are our habits? Where do we need to improve?
And I think that’s the same concept for yourself. You have to put yourself in position to win, and you need to know yourself like the back of your hand. How am I thinking? Where’s my energy? What, what are my habits? Are they helping me? Are they hurting me? And where do I need to improve? I think it’s just super important to be self-aware. I couldn’t stress that enough.
Rhonda Hess:
I can’t agree more. And I must say ,I feel like I’m late to this party as a human being. I <laugh> think I lived a lot of my life, not self-aware.
I’m an empath and I’m, you know, I’m highly observant of others and I track others.
And I was kind of a people pleaser. So, a lot of my energy was going outside of myself, looking at what other people were doing, saying, and not so much on what’s going on inside of me. Right?
It’s not about being perfect and self-aware. It’s about being self-aware of the whole, you know, all the feels, all the messiness. You just need to be self-aware of it. Right? That’s all! <laugh>
Cooper Neimand:
<laugh>. I know it, it is hard and it does take time, but it, it really opens you up.
I learned it pretty early. Um, well actually in college. I actually had to go home on medical leave because I was having random panic attacks. I didn’t know what they were at the time. I thought I was dying, but I had to leave. And, and I, I found out what it was.
I have something called panic disorder where I was just getting random attacks and in constant panic. But once I found out, found out about myself, I just opened me up and a weight got off of my chest and it just, I became like, … I love learning about myself and how I operate. And that’s kind of what clicked for me. Unfortunately, I hit rock bottom to get there, but it was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.
Rhonda Hess:
Well, bless you. And so often those hitting rock bottom things are a blessing in disguise, right? Especially if you take it as an opportunity, which obviously, you did.
What besides self-awareness do you think is a part of the right stuff?
Cooper Neimand:
I think this goes hand in hand with self-awareness. I would say SELF REGULATION, managing and controlling your emotions, behaviors and thoughts. You know, being able to calm yourself down when you’re stressed or create energy when you need it. You know, energy management is huge. That it goes with self-awareness.
Like, for example, I know myself, I might be the definition of an extrovert. People give me energy. Working remote has been hard for me. And so, I have to do everything outside of sessions at a coffee shop because I need to be around people. You know, that the self-awareness of what I need and the regulation to do it.
I also cannot sit for a long period of time, so I have to get up and walk pretty much every 20 to 30 minutes. There are so many self-regulation practices that I do just to keep me sane. You know, I exercise, journal gratitude, walks, cold plunge manifest. Uh, I do a ton. And yeah, it is just super important that you can control yourself.
Rhonda Hess:
There’s a taking agency piece in there where you say: “Okay, this body, this mind, my mindset, my spirit, — this is all stuff that I can affect.” It doesn’t mean that you’re perfect or so in control all the time that you’re like an automaton. It’s not like that at all.
It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to slip up. It’s okay to have some tears. Self-regulation is about being with yourself.
Cooper Neimand:
Yeah. And, as you can probably tell by hearing this, I sometimes I do too much. And I’m a big believer that less is more More being, less doing. And that’s the same in basketball. You know, less is more is huge. Players that do too much don’t usually do that well. And those that master the little things, especially teams — teams that really dominate — the little things are, are usually really, really good.
Rhonda Hess:
Well, you know, that I love less is more. It’s become a mantra not only for me, but something that I share with my clients, hoping they pick it up wherever they are willing to. Having a business that’s simpler, having a life that’s somewhat simpler, picking your spots about where you kind of go crazy. <laugh>
Cooper Neimand:
This one kind of leads to my next one, which is RESILIENCE. I think in order to be successful in a coaching business, you gotta be able to be resilient. You gotta be tough. You gotta be able to recover quickly from difficulties and maintain confidence and conviction despite setbacks. You know, clients are going to say “No”, you’re going to mess up on an email. You’re going to have a, a typo on social media. You’re going to make mistakes.
And it’s all about next play mentality. And that’s something I learned from basketball. You know, basketball is very fast. And it doesn’t stop, you know, if I make a mistake, I can’t just stop. It’s next play.
You don’t have time to feel bad for yourself or, or be angry, you know, it’s kind of next play. If a ref makes a bad call, it’s next play. If someone gets hurt, next play. If you forget a play, you don’t have time to beat yourself up. It’s next play. And I learned a lot from that. And as I’ve transitioned that into my own business I’m making tons of mistakes right now, but I’m not dwelling on them just because it, it doesn’t do anything for me. The thoughts come up, but it’s just next play mentality.
Rhonda Hess:
I love that. I got chills from that. In my own business, I used to beat myself up for all the little and big mistakes that I made. I freaked out about it. I have a much thicker skin now, and I’m pretty blase about mistakes. Even if one of my clients says: “Hey, you made a mistake here.” I just go: “Thank you!”
And it is so good to be present and future focused, especially present focused. Being past focused is toxic. To go back to your past mistakes, unless you’re looking at it dispassionately, for self-reflection.
Cooper Neimand:
And just to touch on what you said … have faith in your abilities and purpose. As a coach, we are doing so much work without immediate return. And that’s hard, you know? That’s really hard. And especially in today’s climate, we want instant success — to do work without immediate return, you gotta be resilient and tough.
Rhonda Hess:
Keep your eyes on the prize. And hopefully the prize is more than just money and having clients. Hopefully it’s also being on a developmental path and seeing yourself grow.
Cooper Neimand:
Right. For sure. I’m a big believer in not only setting goals, but setting how I want to experience and be on the journey. Because we are so good at getting our goals, we will get to that destination. Especially me. My goal was to become a college basketball coach and move up the ranks. And I did it, but I didn’t put into fact how I want to be feeling throughout the journey. And I lost myself in it.
And I was sacrificing so many different things. So, when starting a business this time, it’s, you know, I have my financial goals, but I also have goals of how I want feel, and I’m continuing to work on those and, and they’re integrated. So, I’m working at everything at once.
And that leads to, to my next one, which is, I think you have to BE COURAGEOUS. And that’s just like your ability to do something that scares you. You really gotta change your relationship with fear. You know, fear is going to come and acknowledge it, and then just put it in the passenger seat, you know, and still go.
I’m a big believer. Everything you want is on the other side of fear. And you really have to learn how to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Put yourself out there, be vulnerable, open up, and push boundaries for growth. It is not going to feel good <laugh> at times, but, and this is a muscle that you kind of have to build through practice.
Get in the habit of being uncomfortable and, and making decisions and taking action where you don’t feel confident. You, you will grow that muscle.
Rhonda Hess:
Everything you want is on the other side of fear. Great saying. I think I might write that one down. <laugh>
When you are building a coaching business, you’re a new coach, you’re trying to get out there, you’re trying to attract clients and all that, as you said, there’s so much you gotta do that doesn’t have that immediate gratification at first.
There’s a habit to develop of take this step and then take the next one. Yeah. And then take the next one. An try not to say in your mind, “Okay, this is a really hard one therefore I’ll procrastinate on that. And, this one’s an easy one, so I’ll move forward on that.” But rather just not have the judgment of the steps. Yeah. And just take them, just do it to the best of your ability. And then move on to the next thing.
Cooper Neimand:
Fear and anxiety are protection mechanisms. Fear’s coming in and it’s like, “Are you sure you wanna do this? Like, you might become somebody else!”
And I really believe, like, in order to become who you want to be, you must let go of who you are. You know, how you got here is not how you get there.
I have something where I dare myself every day to do something [I’m afraid to do everyday] that will move the needle for me and personally and for my business. Something that I’ve been procrastinating, something that I’m afraid to do, and you just dare yourself to do it, and you gotta do one a day. That’s something that helped me build the courageous trait and take many different leaps, but it’s something you gotta practice. It’s not easy.
Rhonda Hess:
Love that one. So I think there’s a fifth skill, right?
Cooper Neimand:
Yeah. So I think the last one is you gotta BE AUTHENTIC. Be true to yourself, especially when you’re working with people.
I was in a locker room with people from all over, so many different backgrounds, social, economic, different classes. I was in different neighborhoods. Relationships is everything in basketball. And if you are fake or if you’re a try hard or if you’re not yourself, people feel it. Um, and if you’re not yourself around people, they won’t be comfortable being themselves around you.
Being yourself is the fastest way to build trust and respect. It’s not easy. But you save time by being yourself. You know, when you aren’t yourself, you’re trying to be someone else, it’s tiring. You’re spending a lot of energy hiding yourself. And that could lead to burnout and being misaligned.
So just being yourself, knowing yourself. I’ve heard you talk about it on your podcast. You always ask me in our sessions like ”What is right for you? Don’t worry about my answer.” And that helps me. This is my business. II want to be comfortable completely in it. You know, I’m not a person who is comfortable speaking on stages. And when you were like, “Maybe you don’t have to do that.” I was like, “Oh, thank God!” <laugh> It’s just be yourself. The only way to go.
Rhonda Hess:
Have you ever found it difficult to be yourself?
Cooper Neimand:
Not really. The hardest thing for me is I am a practicing Jew and being in the south when I was coaching, um, I felt like there was times where I had to hide that.
But outside of that, I am pretty much always myself. I talk the same way no matter who I’m talking to. I am quirky, I am energetic. I’m very open about where I’m at, mentally, physically,
Rhonda Hess:
You know, it’s not easy for everyone. I admire that you’ve been able to be yourself much of your life. Sometimes — and this circles back to self-awareness because if you’re not self-aware, if your energy and focus is all on other people, what they think, what they do, how they react to you, all that kind of stuff. And I’m speaking from personal experience, right? Then it’s hard to know who you are. Right? It’s hard to know what you want. It’s hard to know what you need.
And so there is a chicken and egg thing here, you know, <laugh>, you must become self-aware to become authentic. It’s a journey.
Cooper Neimand:
Yeah. A light bulb went off in my head. I really think you have to be true to who yourself, but even more be true to who you want to become. Yeah. Um, like I love who I’m becoming. Um, it’s different. I’m reprogramming a lot of habits and, and thought patterns right now, but I love who I’m becoming. Um, and that’s, that’s somebody who’s being able to set boundaries. Somebody who doesn’t turn to anxiety for protection. And I’m changing. I’m different than what I was last year, you know, so all my self-regulation techniques and tools have changed through growth.
Rhonda Hess:
“I love who I’m becoming.” That brought tears to my eyes, you know, because there’s so much self-love in that. Yeah. You know, I know you also love who you are in this moment. There’s something about making that space, holding space for your own growth. Just like as coaches we do for other people.
Cooper Neimand:
For sure.
Rhonda Hess:
Those five things:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Resilience
- Courageousness
- Authenticity
Really, really powerful things. And of course, we’ve all heard them before. But the way that you’ve talked about it today, Cooper, is just really meaningful.
Is there anything else that you want to share with coaches?
Cooper Neimand:
Yeah, I would say the first thing is GET HELP. <laugh>
The best thing I did was hire you. And, you know, I’m big on creating support systems. You know, I have friends and family and I also have people in my support system that I paid to be on my team.
Get help because, you know, this is new. You need help. And just like how each coach is a specialist in a certain area who’s helping someone somewhere get to somewhere new they’ve never been before, and you help them, like, you need that help as well.
There’s so much information out there that it is confusing and conflicting. You know, I saw a coach say, you need to have a landing page. And so I, I started working on that and then I saw another coach say, whatever you do, don’t have a landing page <laugh>.
I just needed direction. Going back to self-awareness — I struggle on self taught things and online courses because I’m an external processor. And so, to be able to bounce ideas off of somebody and just hear me talk is, is huge. And help me say it better.
I grew up in a locker room. I coached in a locker room. I am not used to being by myself, <laugh>, um, and making so many decisions by myself. I am a huge collaborator and that is something that I needed badly.
I’m glad I was able to find somebody that I’m aligned with and is taking on my dreams and goals just as serious as I am. And there’s just so many different <laugh> things to go into a business that I would never even thought of. I no longer have to hit rock bottom. I can learn from other people’s mistakes now. And I think that’s what help does for you.
Rhonda Hess:
Yeah, it does. And what came into my mind is information isn’t the same as help.
Cooper Neimand:
Yeah. So, it’s better to find someone you align with, get their one-on-one support, let them brainstorm with you, collaborate with you, hold your hand through this. I mean you helped me create my signature program and I probably signed up for like five crash courses and there’s just something different than working one-on-one.
Rhonda Hess:
I’m enjoying working with you so much.
Cooper Neimand:
Thank you. I appreciate it. I enjoy it too.
Rhonda Hess:
I appreciate you, Cooper, for all that you’ve added to this conversation about how can YOU become who you want to be and win in this field of coaching. So, thank you so much, Cooper.
Cooper Neimand:
No problem. Thank you so much!
Rhonda Hess:
Stay inspired and make things happen!