In a Discovery Call with a coach today, (who did hire me by the way) I asked what inspired her to reach out to me. She honored me with a list of things that made me feel good. They were also confirmations that my customer journey is working.
Helping YOU create that customer journey for your audience is what this podcast is about.
She told me that a quote on the Coach Training Accelerator, curriculum I co-wrote for Coach Training Alliance, made an impression on her. It was something along the lines of “Fear lives in your head. Courage lives in your heart.”
I didn’t remember I said that, but when you write as much as I do over decades it’s a strange echo from another time to hear my own thought forms come back to me.
So yes, courage is where it’s at when it comes to launching, running and growing your coaching business. But fear will hover around.
You see our big brains are designed to be wary of things and they get caught up in a loop of worry and fear. But your heart has the wisdom to realize that fear is usually just a flimsy emotion … like cardboard. Fear is not usually a true obstacle. It’s most often a mental block that has little substance.
Today’s episode is all about the F word.
Fear is a powerful force. It can move you toward safety and it can keep you from your destiny.
The feeling is no fun. But, like all feelings, it holds the possibility of transformation.
On any given day, I feel some amount of fear. What about you? Fear could show up while I’m listening to the news. Or, if I’m in a car and I or someone else makes a mistake in judgment. It could be a deep concern that rises up about someone I love or about my body.
During my work, it could be a moment of uncertainty, like when I’m trying to learn something new or take a big step that I’ve rarely or never taken.
Fear is a fairly present emotion for human beings and maybe all mammals.
But most of the time fear doesn’t stop you. It might give you pause, but it doesn’t ultimately keep you from moving forward in your life.
Fear is not something we want to turn off or stop feeling. It’s not even about becoming numb to it. It’s more about having a healthy process with it.
All emotions deserve to be felt, acknowledged and then released, which is a key to good life, right? Fear is an ancient and primal emotion. It can be a vital response for survival.
A Habitual Response to Opportunity
But fear can also become a habitual response to opportunity and this is the big point I want to make to you today.
If you let it, fear will block your growth.
If it has stopped you from becoming who you are meant to be or achieving what you long for, then it’s time for a different response to fear.
As coaches, we’re all about helping others to expand their potential – to pull their feet out of concrete and take steps forward towards a better future.
But who helps you break free from that concrete?
As a business mentor for coaches, I have the privilege to help my clients towards an ultimate lifetime goal … to become their own boss, to have a freedom lifestyle and creatively bring their whole selves — all of their talents, all of their skills, all of their passion — to their own unique business.
It’s an amazing journey that I’m honored to share and guide them toward. And, that journey is rife with fear.
When you’re deep in fear about your coaching business, it can feel all encompassing. Like you’ve fallen into a deep dark hole and there’s no way out. But that’s your brain doing the risk management thing again that’s about fight of flight.
That kind of fear obscures your intuition. It makes you feel paralyzed.
It’s normal and natural to feel fear of the unknown and for imposter syndrome to get right up in your face.
At the heart of it is the question “Am I good enough?”
- Will anyone listen to me?
- Why would they pay me to help them?
- Does anyone even want what I’m offering?
- Can I really do this?
I have endless compassion for those feelings. They are real. And they can feel like the tallest, widest, thickest wall blocking your way.
Yes, you are good enough. Your people will listen to you and pay gladly for what your offering. You can do this! If I can I know you can.
The Power of Decisive Action
The way to rise out of that deep dark hole of fear and back onto the path toward your bright future is accountability. You need someone loving and firm to help you to take decisive action one small step at a time.
Courage followed by decisive action will always be what breaks the spell of fear.
One last thing to consider … the longer you stay stuck in the fear, the bigger and more real it feels. So make an agreement with yourself right now. Give yourself permission to be afraid on your journey towards greatness. Treat yourself with compassion. Raise courage and take action. Fear is not the boss of you. You master it. Cross whatever threshold gave you pause. You’ll blow right past it and never look back. I promise.