A coach I worked with kept backsliding.
In session, their certainty would click in.
But a day or two later, that dissolved and in its place was paralyzing overwhelm and doubt.
We’d meet again and their sense of purpose would roll back in. They left the session feeling sure of their direction and ready to take action, only to get stuck in another deep internal struggle.
I remember that lost feeling as a new coach. I didn’t believe that I had what it takes, so I got in my own way.
Comparison was the trigger.
And that’s what stole away my client’s sense of purpose … they kept looking at other coach’s websites and social profiles.
Shame spiraled into this dark story. Their internal dialogue was:
I’m not good enough.
This will never work.
Maybe I should give up!
How can you stop this downward spiral?
Hey Coaches!
Stopping the downward spiral of doubt starts with three powerful actions …
Turn Off the Firehose of Information Coming In
When I work with coaches in my VIP Mentoring program, I suggest that they unsubscribe from blogs and newsletters, stop buying programs and books about coaching and business success, and above all, stop “researching” other coaches.
Too much information in creates overwhelm and doubts soon follow.
When you have one guide through everything overwhelm never has a chance to take hold.
There’s an immediate relief to turn off the firehose and bring the nervous system back into a parasympathetic state where your passion for coaching and helping others, instead of doubts, can lead the way.
Anxiety drops and you can focus on our journey together to build every aspect of their business collaboratively. Your passion, intelligence and preferences surface and we can move forward actually building the blocks that will make up their business — something that can feed and satisfy you for decades to come.
Even now 25 years into my own coaching business I keep the inflow of information to a trickle because I know what my mind will do if I’m watching “competitors” closely or letting myself get overwhelmed with input. I know that I get full fast and it paralyzes me.
The trick is to only reach outside yourself for specific answers you need right now. Get your answer and then apply what you’ve learned as soon as you possibly can.
Reducing the inflow reduces overwhelm and builds your momentum.
Learn a little then do a lot with what you learn. That’s the successful entrepreneur way.
By the way, I have ONE OPENING right now for my 5-month VIP Mentoring Coaching Business Breakthrough program where privately together you and I would take all the foundational actions that make it possible for you to attract ideal clients who will enthusiastically invest in working with you.
I’d love to work with you!
If you’ve been thinking about getting my expert private support for a while and like what you hear on Prosperous Coach Podcast, take that action now.
Invite the Emotional Voices Inside Your Head to Have a Rest
When you buy into the fear-mind and take the lies it spins about you and your potential seriously, that gets more accentuated over time and sends you into a tailspin whenever you are trying to do something important to you. Make a big change, undertake a scary project or goal.
The truth is fear and doubt, even though they feel all consuming in the moment, don’t actually mean anything about you and your future.
Instead of letting those emotions stop you or rule you,
simply think of them as energy that’s ready to be released.
Those emotions aren’t there to seal your fate or change your direction. They are just normal emotions that you can allow to move through and completely out of your body and mind.
Have you ever heard of Internal Family Systems work? I highly recommend the workbook called Parts Work: An Illustrated Guide to Your Inner Life by Tom & Laurie Holmes. It’s something you can read and get value from on your own or work on with a therapist who knows the concept.
I did that work over a decade ago and now I tap into it whenever I feel afraid, shame, doubt or other conflicting energy.
With guidance, a bit of self-awareness and a crayon I quickly drew caricatures of the most prominent voices and actors inside me — those that drive me through my days. It was amazing to connect my negative internal dialogue to these characters and their faces.
I can see them in my mind when I go into an emotional pattern. And, I can respond with compassion engaging my higher self to soothe those parts while I move forward with my goals.
Take a look at this if you have any interest. And, if you don’t, just stop, pause when you feel doubt and fear realizing its not trying to tell you something meaningful about yourself.
Separate Facts from Interpretation
Once you have turned down the emotional drama, look dispassionately at the truth.
Draw a vertical line on a piece of paper making two equal columns. One side is for THE FACTS and the other is for INTERPRETATION. Interpretation is where all the scary thoughts and emotions go.
And now, think about the circumstances that sent you into a doubt tailspin. Write your story down, objectively separating the facts from your interpretation. You’ll notice the interpretation is messy and electric feeling. But the truth is simple and easy to understand and integrate.
This process takes the oomph out of the seemingly threatening thoughts and feelings. Relief is almost immediate when you can see how the story you’ve built into a tragedy bit by bit was done by the characters inside of you.
You’ll have a new perspective and possibly a clue to what specifically sent you swirling in confusion. The power of that thing to hurt you has been disarmed. And calmed down, you can look at things for what they are.