I’m in awe of the power of loss as a catalyst for transformation. Whether from the loss of someone you love, a chronic or potentially terminal illness, moving your home, losing a job, ending a career — all these things can throw you into an altered state where you naturally reflect more deeply on your life.
My mom, AJ Hess, died in December. The beautiful memorial my brothers and I created to honor her was this past Saturday. l feel matured to have witnessed my mom’s transition from this life. Somehow I feel released to be more fully myself. And I’m so grateful, not only for everything she did for me, but also for the way she braved her passage as she braved her life. The force of her will, even in the fog of Alzheimers, was awesome.
Her death has also caused me to question what my highest self wants of me now. Evolution is potentially one of the greatest gifts of loss. And I feel in good company. All around me, friends, clients and colleagues seem to be going through sea changes spurred on by tough events in their lives.
In honor of my mom, I wanted to share some of the powerful questions I’ve been asking myself.
1. Who does my highest self (or God) want me to be now?
2. How would this support or change the vision I have for my life?
3. How would this help me to make a new contribution to this world?
4. What would it cost me if I resist this transformation?
5. Where can I see the seed of this part within me already?
6. How must my mindset change to strengthen this part within me?
7. How must my habits change to encourage this transformation?
8. What actions do I need to take to fully embody this part?
9. What part of myself must I sacrifice to make room for the evolved me?
10. What support systems / mentors /education will help me now?
In many ways, I find that what wants sacrificing — the thing our highest self is longing to release — is often the linchpin of real transformation.
How do these questions land for you? What questions would you add?
When have you been the most reflective? I’d love it if you’d share in the comments below.