I’ve spent much of my life getting in my own way — believing I wasn’t good enough or couldn’t do it — whatever “it” was at the time. You too?
I’d like to travel back in time to my younger self and show her all that I have accomplished in life so she knows she is enough and she can do it!
I’m lucky that I have a strong will and I’m a problem solver. I go after what I want with fierce determination.
But hampered by negative self-talk, that was like putting the gas pedal to the floor with the emergency break on. So much energy wasted!
Now I’ve learned how to regulate my nervous system and align my thinking to my goals.
It’s not automatic.
I have to slow down in order to notice how I’m getting in my own way then shift my mindset so I can move forward with ease. It’s a daily mindfulness practice.
Let’s talk about how to generate positive self-talk so you can more easily reach coaching success.
Stop Casting Spells on Your Coaching Success
Hey Coaches!
How have you been casting a spell on yourself or sentencing yourself to failure by your thoughts?
If you have, you’re human! And you can learn how to shift your mindset. Then, it will be easier for you to also help your coaching clients do the same.
Have you ever said something to someone and later regretted it?
You replayed what came out of your mouth and realized you could have done better. Maybe you raised the courage to apologize and say what you wished you’d said in the first place.
For some reason, that’s a lot easier than catching negative self-talk. The tapes play in the background all day long affecting your mood and energy.
It takes great awareness and self compassion to realize what’s been going on inside your head. It’s only possible if you slow down.
This is why many wise people recommend journaling and other mindfulness practices for self reflection. The people I know who do this regularly seem to have an easier experience of life, even if they have significant practical limitations.
Your Body and Brain Remember Self-Talk
It made a big impression on me to realize the palpable difference in energy between negative self-talk and positive self-talk. And, I realized the long-term impact it has on me.
Here are some examples of things I often hear from coaches when they are first starting out and I’ll share one way to reframe it.
See if you can sense into the energy of the two statements. It may be noticeable in your emotional response to the words or you may feel the difference in your body somewhere.
Negative Self-talk “I completely failed at that.”
Positive Self-talk “That was a useful learning experience.”
Negative Self-talk “This will never work.”
Positive Self-talk “This is working.”
Negative Self-talk “It will take a long time to be successful at this.”
Positive Self-talk “I’m making daily progress towards success.”
Negative Self-talk “I don’t want to bother anyone.”
Positive Self-talk “I’m excited to connect with people.”
Negative Self-talk “I’m not good enough.”
Positive Self-talk “I am meant for this.”
Negative Self-talk “They are all better than me.”
Positive Self-talk “I admire them and I have my own talents.”
Negative Self-talk “No one will buy this.”
Positive Self-talk “My ideal clients will hire me.”
Negative Self-talk “I’m discouraged.”
Positive Self-talk “I am courageous.”
Negative Self-talk “I’m disappointed.”
Positive Self-talk “I am unstoppable.
What did you notice within yourself as you heard/read the two contrasting statements?
This isn’t only impacting you but also impacting those you are around. It can come across energetically to potential clients.
For me, negative self-talk feels like a heavy weight on my shoulders, a slap in the face or punch in the gut. I go weak in my body. Whereas, the more positive statement lightens me up, empowers me mentally, emotionally and physically.
Negative self-talk isn’t shameful. You don’t need to give yourself a mental spanking for thinking that way in the first place. Instead, look at it with detachment and curiosity:
“Hmm. That’s interesting. What would I rather say to myself?”
When I started this practice, I was amazed at how much better I felt about myself, my relationships, my work, my past and my future. And I am still amazed at the simple power of mindset shifting.
I have a gratitude and affirmation practice that relieves stress and calms my nervous system.
- If I do it at night, I sleep better.
- If I do in the morning I have more energy for the day.
- If I do the practice after a difficult conversation or a trying day, I can let it go!
An affirmation is just positive self-talk.
It’s not magic but it feels like it’s magical because your brain is actually rewiring itself so that instead of a constant stream of negative self-talk tearing you down, your mind becomes an ally for you.
Stay inspired and make things happen!
