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This episode is a surprise package. It was to me and hopefully it will be to you too.
The longer I’m in business for myself — and it’s been a couple of decades now — the more I realize that once you have the strategy in place, success at your coaching business is largely an inner game.
And that’s mostly true about all aspects of life.
In a few minutes I’m going to share something radical that could help you to fall bacj in love with your coaching business and your life. But first let me take you back 14 years to an inspiring moment in time.
In 2006, when I first launched Prosperous Coach, it was a membership program with a year’s worth of curriculum for new coaches. One of my members made a huge impression on me. And I realized that while I was teaching other coaches how to launch, one of my Prosperous Coach members became my teacher.
This isn’t unusual in coaching by the way. Our clients have a lot to teach us.
This woman, I’ll call her Reena, was incredible! Smart, funny and wise. She was warm and encouraging to everyone. She accepted everyone as they were and filled the Prosperous Coach community with love.
She also had amazing successes early on that were so inspiring and possibly a bit intimidating to other coaches. Clients were flocking to Reena. She was getting $10,000 coaching contracts.
And before you start imagining a statuesque woman in an expensive suit … Reena was, I think, 5 feet tall, boyish, wore no makeup and could care less about clothes. She was not memorable by her looks but by her presence.
She’d always say that Prosperous Coach made her prosperous. She was a walking billboard for me. And it made me blush because ultimately I knew that I deserved little credit for her coaching business success.
I say this not to be self-deprecating but because over time we became long distance friends. Beyond her graduating from my program she’d touch in from time to time saying how much I and Prosperous Coach meant to her.
And, I learned that she had many businesses before her coaching business, ranging from farms to corporate think tanks and other diverse things — each one of them wildly successful.
She’d start a business, bring in a team, nurture that team with love, respect and encouragement then turn over responsibility and move on to her next adventure. She was a consummate coach helping other people’s stars rise. And she was beloved among her colleagues.
She never talked about money but I knew she was wealthy in every respect of the word. And she was the most FREE person I’d ever met.
She shared stories about enrolling a new coaching client while sitting next to someone on an airplane. Those clients would champion her, promoting her far and wide. She never marketed ever.
Companies scrambled to hire her for keynote speaking gigs and she wasn’t even trying for that.
Years into our friendship I asked Reena how she made so much happen so effortlessly and she told me a harrowing and deeply personal story, which is why I’m not sharing her real name. She was abducted at the side of a road, dragged into a forest, beat and abused and left for dead.
She survived by crawling 15 miles out of the forest. And she started a new life unafraid and accepting life the way it came to her.
She didn’t tell me this story as a victim. She told it as the moment of her life transformation. And what I learned from her is this …
I make my success by the way I think, by how well I accept myself, my circumstances and other people.
So … if you’re out there listening … thank you for being my teacher, “Reena”!
Flash forward 14 years. Here we are. All of us are soaking in fear or worse with Covid in our midst for nearly a year now.
The Revolutionary Concept of Radical Self Approval
Sooooo … I had a rough week. And my deadline to create this week’s podcast episode loomed over me. I found myself without words. A rare thing!
Yeah, there are some hard things going on in my life and a bit of depression pulled me down. I found myself spinning stories about myself and my future.
The mean woman inside me took over for a bit. I felt listless and rudderless.
Then, literally the sun came out. And I thought about Reena, that champion of mine from early days in Prosperous Coach. And it helped me remember a watch phrase … Radical Self Approval.
Do you know about Radical Self Approval? For me this concept REVOLUTIONARY!
I wish someone had taught me about this when I was in high school or when I was a young adult trying to make my way without making such a mess of things. I wish I’d known it when I started my coaching business.
I want you to have this to help you starting YOUR coaching business. Radical Self Approval is just what it sounds like. It comes from a term “Radical Acceptance” coined by Marsha Linehan, who created a form of talk therapy to deal with difficult emotions while changing thinking patterns.
Everyone needs that, right?
I have a little handwritten sign at my desk with the words Radical Self Approval. It’s taught me that it’s okay to “play all the keys of the keyboard”. Feel all the feels and also, at the same time, to accept what is and move forward with joy.
It’s about becoming non-judgmental about yourself, your world and your circumstances.
Human beings spend too much of their time beating themselves up.
In the last 15 minutes what have you been beating yourself up about?
It could be the thing you just said to a client. The way you feel about yourself, your coaching abilities. The way you feel about your clients. Or the way you feel about the money you’re making or not making. Or maybe it’s judgment about what you could be doing to build your business but are not doing.
I get it, my friend. Every one struggles with these feelings. With beating themselves up.
But we know this … beating someone up is not a way to get then to do more and be more with excellence.
It’s self acceptance and being in love with yourself, your circumstances even if they are hard that will encourage you to greatness.
Try it out. Replace your mean voice with Radical Self Approval and see what happens next.