Ep 48 – The Meanest Mindset That Holds Coaches Back From Success

I’m taking a break from the Client Winning Coaching Website series to talk about 2 widespread coaching business killers — perfectionism and analysis paralysis.

This episode fits into the series on Smart Mindsets & Habits.

Perfectionism and Analysis Paralysis are two mean siblings. And they may be holding you back from … well, so many things in life.

By the way, perfectionism is an older cousin of Imposter Syndrome. Check out episode 1 for more about that.

Think of it, if we could all cure ourselves of these things for good, there would be a lot more happiness in the world — happier kids, happier students, happier entrepreneurs, definitely happier coaches.

First, I want you to know, I am not cured of perfectionism and I do still find myself stuck in analysis paralysis from time to time.

But I’ve studied these 2 mean siblings. I’ve put the spotlight on them. And you know what happens when you raise awareness on a poor habit or harmful mindset, you learn how to think and behave differently.

My clients are an excellent mirror for my own perfectionism. And so I learn best how to handle my own perfectionistic ways by supporting my clients to go for good enough.

The Difference Between Standards and Perfectionism

That doesn’t mean that you should let go of your standards in your coaching business. But, you know who you are if your standards are unrealistic. That will hold you back. And, I can relate.

Bless our hearts, coaches are often the worst perfectionists. And maybe you’re thinking, “No Rhonda, you should say the best perfectionists.”

But here’s what I know for sure … perfectionism is crippling not empowering.

It doesn’t help you. It’s literally painful. And that’s where the 2nd mean sibling comes in — Analysis Paralysis.

Perfectionism causes analysis paralysis. So one mean sibling hits the other on the head and then the other hits back and it goes on like that.

When it comes to growing and running a business there’s absolutely no use for perfection anywhere.

Think about it. There is absolutely no advantage to being a perfectionist in your coaching business.

In fact, perpetuating this habit of perfectionism will keep you from doing what you love and earning well. It will kill the huge potential for joy in your business.

Basically, it’s a habit of expending massive amounts of energy without getting anything done.

Know what I mean?

So sheer honesty here. Today, I was sitting at my desk procrastinating on my podcast. Oh, believe me, it happens.

It’s not for lack of ideas. I literally have pages and pages of potential topics and series ideas.

And it’s not for lack of skill or desire. All that’s there and growing.

But where I get into trouble is overthinking things. I sometimes have too strong of a desire to serve you and that gets me into trouble. But what’s underneath that is a vestigial belief that I am not worthy of helping you.

Do you ever feel that way?

Serve Coaching Clients While Trusting Yourself

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t want to serve our target audience well and be generous with them.

But if I serve while trusting myself, it will come off with prosperity instead of scarcity.

If YOU employ your desire to serve while trusting yourself to take decisive action you’ll be prosperous at this business. Even if you make mistakes. Because you make mistakes and learn from them.

See, perfectionism is driven by a scarcity mindset. It’s the fear that you’re not enough.

And before you beat yourself up about that, realize these two things:

  1. Nearly all brilliant people suffer from the belief that they’re not enough.
  2. And, it’s natural part of having an ego.

But it is a limiting belief and a mean habit that you want to break. Now would be a good time for that.

4 Steps to Break Free from Perfectionism

So, here is my process, for lifting myself out of the constrictive, unforgiving frame of mind that is perfectionism and then shifting out of neutral (because that’s what analysis paralysis is). You’re not in gear.

Try this on for size, then morph it into your own process – one that works for you.

  1. Get into new habit of noticing when you’re holding yourself back.
  • You’ve been procrastinating.
  • You’re waffling all over the place.
  • You feel stuck.
  • You’re second guessing previous decisions.

2. When you realize you’re stuck in analysis paralysis, clench your hands together tightly. Then slowly open them up while you imagine your heart and mind also opening up. Release perfectionism. You may have to do this several times a day at first.

3. Create a short mantra and soothe yourself with it. Something like:

Good enough is better than perfect. There’s no one right choice. Taking decisive action is good for me.

4. Then take that action you’ve held yourself back on.

If you’re still paralyzed, talk to your coach or mentor. And I’ll offer myself for that.

If you’d like to move from a stuck place or work on changing the habit of perfectionism to get-to-good-enough-and-move-on let’s have a Strategy Session.

I’d love to work with you. We are all in this together. Don’t let yourself stay stuck.

In the Next Episode: The Only Good Reason to Give Up on Your Coaching Business