My amazing VIP clients inspired this topic. All of them are highly intelligent people with big hearts who want to make a difference in the world. I’m so honored to help them get there.
I’ve noticed 4 distinct ways they and other coaches sabotage themselves.
The first thing to realize is that these 4 things are human, understandable, forgiveable and can be overcome. They are likely life long habitual patterns so it makes sense they would show up when creating a coaching business.
The second thing to realize is that these 4 things can be massive roadblocks to the things you most want:
- to coach clients who truly want to be coached
- a steady income doing coaching
- your own thriving business
So let’s uncover what these 4 pitfalls are and the simplest way to lift yourself out of them so you can coach, earn well and thrive!
As I share these 4 ways coaches sabotage their success, I invite you to let your business cure you of these things. Having your own business is beautiful territory for overcoming core issues and evolving into your full potential.
The #1 Thing That Holds Coaches Back From Success
… is perfectionism.
Perfectionism comes from deep roots, like …
- Overbearing parents
- The need for control in a messy world
- Fear of failure and fear of success
It’s poignant stuff that deserves compassion.
I would guess that half of the coaches I’ve met have perfection in their way. I did too!
When I first started my coaching business I was weighed down by the idea that if I took extra care with everything (that’s an understatement), people would like me, or at least, they wouldn’t criticize me.
My mom, bless her heart, was super critical. In many ways, this helped me find out what I was good at. But I internalized her critical nature and used it to beat myself up.
Do you know what I mean?
I did Internal Family Systems work with a therapist focusing on the workbook called Parts Work by Tom and Laurie Holmes. I love the parts work and IFS modality!
My therapist encouraged me to quickly draw sketches of the characters in my head that speak the loudest and drive my feelings, thoughts and actions. One of those loud characters was THE JUDGE and it didn’t really surprise me that it represented my mom.
Raising awareness about that internalized character helped me to negotiate with The Judge inside and learn that good enough is far better than perfect.
What’s your story that has you trying to be perfect?
Whatever it is, I know for sure that moving past it will help you in life — especially with your coaching business.
Don’t get me wrong. Attention to detail can be a good thing. High standards can be a good thing. But, as I found out, too high of standards can postpone your success and make you inaccessible to clients.
Perfection will not help you:
- Gain traction
- Attract ideal coaching clients
- Earn well
- Stay in business
The old mantra of perfection is — “If I’m perfect, I won’t get hurt.”
The new mantra is — “Get to good enough and move on.”
It’s a powerful reframe.
Perfectionism is a block to your authentic self. And being your authentic self is what helps you find success in your coaching business.
#2 Impatience Derails Coaching Business Progress
Impatience is a subtle way of self sabotage, and I think, a subset of perfectionism. Pushing too hard, jumping the gun, expecting too much too soon – all of these things can derail you from the path you really want to be on.
For some coaches, impatience has them quit and way too soon.
The old mantra of impatient is – “I should be there by now.”
The new mantra is — I’m growing incrementally on this journey.”
I encourage you to be where you are on that development path as a coach and business owner. Keep moving forward incrementally at a reasonable pace. Allow yourself to grow and reach your goals organically.
Do challenge yourself to learn, to try new things, to get out there. Just don’t push the river. Flow.
#3 Going it Alone in Your Coaching Business is Lonely and Misguided
This may be hard to believe … successful people ask for help. Often.
I’m a self sufficient person. But I know when I’m out of my depth. In 20+ years of my own business I have reached out for and also sometimes invested highly in smart support.
The old mantra of not asking for help is — “I should be able to do this myself.”
The new mantra is — “Asking for help is smart.”
If you are stuck for more than a day on something, ask yourself:
How will struggling on my own help me or hinder me?
You are likely to experience less stress and get where you want to go faster if you seek support. Sometimes, consulting a friend or colleague is enough. Sometimes paid expert guidance is the best approach.
#4 Charging Too Little is the Ultimate Roadblock to Coaching Success
Something inside you wanted more for your life than working for someone else. And, some part of you wants to feel proud of yourself for running a successful business, earning a living that feeds your heart and soul.
If you keep your pricing low, you say ‘NO’ to achieving those dreams while you sit there and long for it. You have put the emergency break on your forward movement.
Charging too little is a way of keeping yourself small. I did this too at first until I realized that if I didn’t charge more I could not keep my business running.
The old mantra is — “If I don’t charge much I won’t be rejected.”
The new mantra is — “If I value myself everyone wins.”
A sad story … I knew an amazing coach. Her spirit was so big and bright. She easily attracted clients, served them well and they loved working with her.
But because she didn’t charge enough she had to go get a job.
Having the job sucked the energy out of her business. If only she had significantly raised her fees and started that way, she would have earned more. She wouldn’t have needed the job, which distracted her from what she wanted most.
Listen to Episode 191 Low Pricing Could Kill Your Coaching Business.
Charging too little fees is something you can easily and instantly remedy. It’s a just do it moment. And, I promise you, once your raise your fees and own your value, you’ll never go back to undercharging again because you’ll see the cascade of positive things that comes from that for you and your clients.