Over-delivery can be strategic, such as amping up the quality of your free offers or loading up a paid program with juicy bonuses. But chronic over-delivery in coaching sessions could actually undermine your financial success and relationships with clients. That’s because it’s often rooted in a lack of trust… either in the value of your services or in your client’s abilities. Or both.
Think about it…
Do you chronically go beyond the time boundaries of your sessions?
Do you sometimes do your clients work for them (when it’s not part of your package?)
Have you ever sensed that you might want more for your clients than they do for themselves?
Do you ever feel resentful that you’re not paid well enough for your time, but then still over-deliver?
As a coach, have you ever thought “Who am I to…?” Fears like this show up when you take the smart step of focusing on one unique tribe of people — a niche market — and begin to put the word out that you can help them get where they want to go. The underlying thought is: “How can I charge for this if I haven’t accomplished for myself the things my clients want to accomplish!” And then you fall into a spiral of doubt and start back pedaling.
I hear you. But keep moving forward by embracing your beginner’s mind.
In any new job, career or business direction there is the absolute necessity to be new, untried and unproven at first. You are required to be a beginner and learn from doing. There’s no shame in it.
In fact, a fresh perspective is THE POINT of coaching.
Many years ago, Thomas Leonard, founder of the first coach training school and the “father of life coaching,” said:
Never want more for your clients than they want for themselves.
That woke me up! I began to examine my motivations and set healthier boundaries for myself with clients.
Have you ever sensed that you might want too much for your clients?
Most coaches fall into this trap on some level, until they let go of their desire to effect change on their clients, and replace it with an understanding that what is best for the client is only what the client is ready to commit to change within themselves right now.
I’m in awe of the power of loss as a catalyst for transformation. Whether from the loss of someone you love, a chronic or potentially terminal illness, moving your home, losing a job, ending a career — all these things can throw you into an altered state where you naturally reflect more deeply on your life.
My mom, AJ Hess, died in December. The beautiful memorial my brothers and I created to honor her was this past Saturday. l feel matured to have witnessed my mom’s transition from this life. Somehow I feel released to be more fully myself. And I’m so grateful, not only for everything she did for me, but also for the way she braved her passage as she braved her life. The force of her will, even in the fog of Alzheimers, was awesome.
Her death has also caused me to question what my highest self wants of me now. Evolution is potentially one of the greatest gifts of loss. And I feel in good company. All around me, friends, clients and colleagues seem to be going through sea changes spurred on by tough events in their lives.
In honor of my mom, I wanted to share some of the powerful questions I’ve been asking myself.
I’m big on delivering value so most of my posts get right into how to make big progress in your biz. In fact, one of my colleagues, Erika Kalmar, said about my post last week… “Wow, this is not a blog post – this is a course! Others pay a lot to get this info you’re sharing here, Rhonda!”
So, it’s not my usual style to talk a lot about myself in a blog post… but here in the states, it’s gratitude time with Thanksgiving this Thursday… so I wanted to reveal a bit more about me.
My greatest teachers…
You. I’m so lucky to serve heartful, brilliant people like you. I’m so honored that you read my blog, share your thoughts and allow me to shine some light on your path to greatness. From you, I’m continually learning to let go of attachment, value diversity, and listen more deeply. Enlightenment!
My life partner, Seth. He’s contributed so much to my well being and Prosperous Coach by researching for me, managing cash flow, editing my content, and continually coaching me to stay true to what’s most important.
These are tough times for empaths. In a world hammered by tsunami and nuclear disaster, political unrest and economic crisis – feeling the feelings of others can be super overwhelming and painful. (I say this with the deepest respect for people who have directly experienced these disasters, whose suffering is in a whole different class.)
I believe that what’s going on in the world right now is one of the reasons why the field of coaching has burgeoned. It takes a conscious act to stay in balance in these times. And coaches remind people to stand in their power, hold their center and direct their actions with integrity.
Empaths, who have empathy in spades, have naturally gravitated to coaching as a career. I’m in that subgroup and attract a lot of clients who are too. If you are an empath, chances are you lose track sometimes of where you begin and end.
Even if this never happens to you, I bet some of your coaching clients can relate and it’s helpful to be aware of the unique challenges that empaths face.
It’s More Critical Than Ever to Regain Your Center
The world needs empathy – and here’s the paradox. For empaths, when the world is most in need is exactly the time we most need to take care of ourselves. We need a strong daily practice to recover our center, boundaries, and vitality. Then we can serve from strength.
Here are 6 ways to recover your center:
Go on a media diet. I’m not just talking about the news. Turn off anything that has an on-off switch. Give yourself a rest from all that frenetic input. If possible do this for a few days or weeks, or at the very least have sacred times to be completely unplugged every day while you’re awake.
Go outside. Become a cloud, bird or plant watcher. Spring is a great time for this, but nature calms your nervous system anytime you tap in there. Cultivate an appreciation for natural beauty and let it influence your mind, body and spirit.